Home a definite place or lack thereof

Home is an interesting thing. It has for sure changed at the onset of the invention of automobile and airplane. It took david Douglas over 8 months to reach the northwest coast of America from the UK. Now, it is a 10 hour flight. Home can pretty much be anywhere in this day in age if your wallet is not limited. In the 1800’s your home was where you were born, or probably within a 20 mile radius or less. I have been yearning. yearning to make a home.  I am a product of my era in this regard. It still feels more normal to be at home when I am on the road, in a place that is not my own. In a space I can look at and begin to ponder, trace down the thought path, wondering who has traveled this space, seen these buildings, seen the trees, the hills in the distance, some 5, some 30, some 50 miles away. And hasn’t memorized their shapes their idiosyncrasies  and detail because of a lack of repetitive exposure.

There is an amazing feeling of curiosity that overwhelms you when you can look around and wonder about the stories of everything around you. The people, the nature, the buildings, the beaches, the trees. The mountains, or the the redwoods. — perhaps they know more than anything (afterall some of them have been around for 2000 years in the same place) what home is. Mild weather, other trees, rain, fog, tourists, brief sunshine, more fog. Repeat, for 2000 years. In a few weeks, on the North Coast, I look forward to that moment, when I can ponder this thought in the presence of organisms that have a greater understanding of time.

Perhaps though, some people have discovered the deatail. But it is surface. I remember the house where I grew up. I know when the mall first went in up the street. I was 12 years old. Traffic never occurred to the degree on solomon pond road until the mall went in… My friends from my childhood know who I am probably better than most people, 13 years is a long time to kindle a friendship. There are memories and events that occurred which bond to a level that others will never understand, since the others weren’t present. And the last 6 years I have encountered 4 different places with different people, trying to fit in. Sadly it seems like a feeble attempt. There  can be connection, similar likes, similar personalities will always attract, and often there can’t be. Perhaps for a time of stretching and learning.  I am thankful for such relationships– both. It’s much easier when there is solid connection though. I am thankful for that. Especially in this newest place.   But even in those places with those people one can connect with, it still can seem a little weak. Like the baby brother that just entered the family when the older kids have been alive with already 6 years or so of solid friendship and memories. Details. You know them because they are in a sense your home. Time progresses, it gets better. Friendships take time. My first week in Romania was arguably one of the hardest weeks of my life. But time helped. Time brings you closer to the things, the places, the people that you are surrounded by, thereby creating and sense of home and normalcy.

It’s nice to be on the road again. I feel at home when I am not home. Especially with Amanda, I couldn’t think of a better companion to feel somewhat displaced, and to transition with. She knows the  sense of home when being on the road. When in between places. It’s a good sense, but overwhelming when it’s the case for a year or so at a time. Thankfully this is just a month. 2.5 weeks left. And what I am most thrilled about is the opportunity to revisit  arguably one of my favorite place in the world: the north coast of California.

end.

relieving my travel bug

For the last 2 months, I have been really itching to travel again. Well, the time has come. Perkins and I hit the road tomorrow to get to Yuba City CA. Our first stop will be at a B&B in jacksonville OR to celebrate our 1 year anniversary March 1st.  We are excited. But will miss everyone very much. I am stoked to try my hand at farming, and perkins is stoked to get her degree finished. Some of you have expressed concern than we are leaving and will never return. Do not worry, We have lived in CA before, and if we wanted to move there, we would have when we returned from Europe. So, listen up Seattle friends. Do not worry, Amanda and I are not planning on moving back to california, this is just a short-term mini adventure. You can rest assured we will return. Though there is closer access to surfing, amazing friends, bountiful sunshine, world-renown wine, San Francisco, and redwood forest, it is not worth it to us for the following reasons:

 

1. We dare not suffer the potential long term health detriments of poor air quality. We don’t want to victimized by this tragic environmental monstrosity; which sadly is all simply a result of greed in food and auto industry.

 

2. California will always take more money from me than Washington. The state is bankrupt, and will continue to take more money from us, while not giving anything in return.

 

3. I waste more of my life driving in California than in Washington.

 

4. Cascade, centennial, and chinook hops are all local up here…I will let you infer what this means.

 

(and my friends in California, we love you, we will always visit, but we don’t plan to return for the long term. Love you all very much.)

 

see you all when we return.

Sincerely,

Nate, and Perkins

 

Greed

where there is greed, there is much suffering. where there is capitalism, there is greed.

I have been thinking a lot lately on the problems of capitalism in America, and how short-term most corporations have been in their actions. below are just a few examples. one can imagine how things would be different if we only thought more long-term.

post-college graduates cannot pursue their hearts because their passions cannot sustain them. They are working to pay of their debts like indentured slaves, some upwards fo 50+ hours a week. they could be otherwise be cultivating their artistic craft they  have always longed to be the best at, or going overseas to do the mission work, or humanitarian work they have be burdened to do. Or, Perhaps students are going to school and getting work in a field that they are passionate about. However, that passion is no longer fun because it’s an obligation, a means to fulfill the duties due the master, rather than a voluntary act of joy rooted from a heart’s desire. Reminds me a lot of the feudalism system 1000 years ago.

Another example: government won’t enforce health regulations on things like food, or price ceilings on the now exorbitant costs of healthcare because kickbacks are oh-so-sweet, and campaign funding is what helped one get into office. Meanwhile, families living in poverty or below minimum wage are more likely to be obese and have dietary health issues like diabetes than those families earning more. And families that cant afford healthcare–capitalistic or the new socialistic model–have to take out loans to pay off healthcare bills. Another example of the modern feudalistic system at work.

SUV’s will continue to be the choice production vehicle type of American car manufacturers because profit margins are 10x greater than that of smaller more fuel efficient vehicles. All the while, the oil companies get richer, while the the environment gets more polluted, and small local economies like the fishing industry in the gulf get destroyed because of corporate negligence in order to keep costs low to boost profits.

Small independent organic farmers are being shut down because wealthy corporations are threatening to take them to court for patent infringement on GMO crops because the GMO seeds spread onto said organic farmer’s crops from natural occurrences like wind. The result is less people having access to healthy “normal” food, and small farmers being left with “figuring out” something else to do for a living. While America continues to have more food-related health issues than other developed nation.

the market for biofuels means competing with farmland for food. families, as a result are being stripped of their land in Indonesia by officials paid off by corporations who will use this land to grow non-organic palm oil. If the family is lucky, they will get work from the corp at a low, unsustainable wage, while their air gets polluted from all the harvesting and planting, and their water from all the pesticides. All this so that American car manufacturers can hit their CAFE quota because their current lineup of offerings doesn’t meet US set standards for CAFE. Rather than produce hybrids or more fuel efficient vehicles, they can get credit by producing the same low fuel efficient vehicles which can now run on biofuels.

the list goes on…human trafficking, drugs, , etc…

You know, it’s interesting being back in the states after being overseas for 15 months. For the first 3 months or so being in Romania, I thought things from my culture were generally “better”.  how ethnocentric of me. Though I am thrilled to be back in the states where I can easily find a tastey pale ale or IPA, and to be in a place where I can truly function as an adult and to fully be able to enjoy the arts and social interaction that I am a part of. I am thankful that I can be in a area of the country where I can contribute as little to the unethical corporations as possible.

how does one live in a way where one is not contributing to the unethical behaviors of the culture– namely  the unethical corporations at large? the food industry? the medical industry who makes billions of dollars treating symptoms rather than curing causes? how can one avoid working long hours, avoid supporting the corruption of the automobile oligopoly who’s sleeping with the petroleum teamate, all the while while ruining lives–individuals and families and economies in poorer parts of the world?  how can one live counter-culturally in such a greedy society?

perhaps we need to give more than we take, and think about someone else’s needs above our own.

some green facts

– Swiss Scientists have colculated that the planet  could support 6 billion-plus inhabitants only if everyone keeps  his or her power consumption level at 2000 watts per day.  current energy consumption levels in Germany are just over 4000 watts per person each day; in the united states it’s almost double that. By the end of 2011 the global population is expected to reach 7 billion. In 1987, the population was 5 billion

– china feeds its billion-plus population on less the 10% of the earth’s arable land

– In Germany there was a renewable eneregy sources act passed in 2000: EEG which requires  power companies to buy–at a premium (upwards of double the cost)–renewable energy generated by private owners. The utilities are aboliged to purchase green power from each producer for 20 years. The EEG covers wind, wolar, hydropower, biomass and geothermal. Some states like ME in the US have passed similar bills.

– because of the high demand in Europe and the US for organic, “fair trade” sugar, only 8% of the primary upper parana eco system remains from the subtropcial upper parana atlantic forest. which is said to have been one of the most biologically diverse  ecosystems in the world

-There is enough wind capacity using currently available technology in North Dakota, Kansas and Texas alone to generate 100% of the electricity used by the United States today.  The states between the Mississippi and the Rockies have enough gross capacity to triple that.

– enough sunlight falls on the earth in an hour to meet current world energy demands for a year.

responsible goods

In being in the culture of the northwest, and especially with the emerging trend of local and organic foods, I guess I am jumping on the band wagon. I once used to consider imported things very nice. I might have considered an italian or french wine superior to one from california (and I do admit that after living in europe for a year, I am more impressed with california wine—granted, i might not have been able to spend the money to achieve the quality comprable to the california wines I rank as better). I find myself now buying into the progressive notion that local is better—better tasting, and better for the environment. the use of fossil fuels in transporting imports and foods (some yes imported, but some also produced upwards of 3000 miles away depending on where you live in the states) is an unnecessary strain on the environment, and the time it takes in transit is time lost for serving said goods fresh.

I just finished a fun read called “farewell my subaru” which was about a world-traveled journalist who decides he wants to live a simple life that is as sustainable as possible He moves to rural new mexico to see if he can do it just for a year. He does the whole gamut of predictable life changes one would assume when one jumps into this sort of venture: growing his own produce, getting rid of his unleaded-consuming car, in exchange for a diesel powered one that he converts to run on veggie oil (and apparently the man who invented the diesel engine did so for farmers who would be able to grow their own fuel) installing solar panels, a solar. shower, water pump, raises chickens and goats. etc… It’s an enjoyable read, it’s his story through the whole process. He talks about the importance of eating local for the environment.

I was sipping some washington wine and vodka last night with some friends, and was just thinking about how much I appreciated that stuff in this place. I certainly have had much better wine before, but honestly, this was perfect because the origins were so close to home. I think there is something really special about waiting for things, or enjoying things only when they are grown, produced and created within close proximity of where you are. A Chimay will taste far better in belgium where 1.) I can’t enjoy the craft and microbrews of seattle and 2.) it hasn’t been tossed around in a shipping cart for a week or so before it arrives on the shelf 3.) It also will be 1 euro instead of $12. Our culture teaches against that. I am also applying the same principle to seasonal foods. An apple will taste much better in the fall when I have waited 8 months to have one. Berries and chanterelle mushrooms are some other amazing fall boons up here in the PNW that will taste much better in season.

when you pay a price for something, you sacrifice something for it, it becomes much more valuable when it arrives in the time it is supposed to.

*currently reading “Green Gone Wrong” by Heather Rogers

*currently listening to Tiny Vipers

tarry not, and make much of time.

you cant stop time, so why not make something of it? in 20 years, 20 years will have gone by, and one can either have something to show for it, or not. I used to love rpg video games. until they took up hours of my life. For those that don’t know, RPG stands for “role playing game” the idea of one of these games is to build your skills and expand your tools and resources so that you can get experience to defeat the boss in the end. sometimes there is no boss, sometimes the whole point is to just build your stats. and why is this so fun? …who knows? I perhaps it’s a way to monitor progress and see yourself virtually improving. Perhaps its a way to push aside the painful reality of what maybe true life to excel in something fantastical that is  sub-reality. Perhaps its easy, and its a way to see progress in something that, though it is virtual, it is still tangible. Perhaps since real progress costs something a virtual RPG is a better option. Boys always like to be champions and warriors, and this is an easy to become one. Don’t misunderstand me, video games aren’t wrong. I just don’t know how i could justify playing an rpg while not really improving my life by working towards something that will benefit me in the long term, like exercise or reading, and learning something new.

I guess I am saying all of this because in my guitar course I am slowly, and slowly progressing. And I am loving every second of it. In remembering the joy of keeping stats that a video game recorded, I think that I am going to start recording stats on my life: Guitar playing, reading, exercising…whatever it is I set my mind to. I think this will not only allow me to monitor progress, I think it will be tons of fun in the same time. Thank you video games for showing me how to think about my life 🙂

16/02/10

its amazing how fast 3 months goes. Amanda and I are getting married in 13 days. that just seems crazy. only 13 more days of being single. only 13 more days of sleeping by myself. I think that will be the biggest change.  Sometimes I think of my life as movie. I stare out a window listening to contemplative music, and then think about all the people and places I have been over the last few years. what is happening at those places, and how people are carrying on with their lives, with or without thought of my interaction with them at whatever time that occurred. do you ever do this?

I am trying to practice guitar everyday at this point in time. I am doing the learn and master guitar course by steve krenz. It is wonderful to be learning something again. (after being out of school for 3 years, its nice to stimulate my brain again to expand my knowledge) and this course is a truly great thing. 20 sessions with DVD’s, practice CD’s to play along with, a workbook, and probably my favorite thing: a forum community online with everyone who is doing the course. It is here that I take great solace, as everyone can sympathize with my difficulties in session 4, in learning all the notes, and their locations in the open position, using all 6 strings, and mastering the notated exercises using all 6 strings. Many joke about “setting up camp” and “camping out” on session  4. The longest I have seen is some guy spent 5.5 months there. I greatly admire his discipline. It sure seems like I could spend that amount of time on these exercises. Its already been a month. You know, I have decided in this guitar learning experience,that the hardest part about working, is mustering up the gumption and making the decision to dive in and chug away. Always, it seems when I can bring myself to do this, its just gets easier. Amanda says I am progressing greatly. At the very least, this greatly encourages me to keep going. Thanks Perkins. She is going to make a wonderful wife I am so blessed Too many times, I am my own worst enemy and stop doing something because i feel like I am failing. But, this time will be different. my hope that is in 5 years, I will be playing whatever I want on the guitar.

Mom, Dad, Jon and Maria come out next week. I am greatly looking forward to that. Really weird that they will be in Romania, but really neat. I am stoked to see them. I am so grateful for how well Amanda fits into my family. In-laws seem like a potentially very stressful part of life, but that doesnt seem like it will be the case with my family. (famous last words. haha).

Other than them coming out and nuptials on the horizon, and guitar playing, I have greatly been enjoying the new hot chip album, beach house, four tet and torro y moi. 2010 has been amazing year already for music. Also cycling on my ipod: embryonic: the flaming lips, a chorus of storytellers: the album leaf, and to remind me of what I am working towards– Joe Bonamossa, and Jimi Hendrix on occasion as well.

I also connected with a new student to tutor, and of course, he is Korean, a 9 year old at the british school here.

One thing that I have really grown to appreciate while being here in Romania, is being in a missionary community. Everyone looks out for one another here, like I have never seen in America. For example, the staff where Amanda’s parents teach, have all signed up to cook meals for us while Jane recovers from surgery, and while Amanda focuses on the wedding and her school. This is a normal thing that the staff does when someone there is sick or disabled. so for the next month or so we will be recieving 3 meals a week. Already had some gimbab (korean sushi) and delicious pot pie last night. Also amazing is that a friend here initiated taking up some money for amanda and I for our honeymoon. After everyone in the school and church community finished, Amanda and I will actually have some money to do something with when we go to prague.

How amazing. Thank you friends, and thank you Jesus for your provision.

snow, simple church and wedding music

It started snowing Sunday Night, and didnt stop until today. I love when it snows heavy, and when its fresh on the ground. Sometimes I miss the beauty of California when I was in Humboldt, or in the sierras, but I am thankful I can find beauty here, and be refreshed with the sense of purifying that comes with a fresh blanket of quiet still, white snow.

Last night was a great Night. Amanda and I got met with a decorator for the wedding. it turns out she is right on the same artistic page as us. We are just hoping she can pull something off with our minimal budget. After meeting with this woman we were hungry, and wanted some dinner. The great thing about being in an area of town that you arent normally in is that you can discover new cafes and coffee joints that you otherwise wouldnt know about. This is precisely what happened.

We found this little cafe called chocolata. in addition to wonderful chocolates they offered, they also had tastey sandwiches, and the real points they got from me was having chimay brew. Its not common anywhere in this city to find a cafe that carries any type of beer aside from a blonde, or if its an irish pub a guiness. But this place offered something extraordinary: the belgium Chimay that I had discovered at a favorite bar in LA not far from my house. The atmosphere at this place was great too, very warm, very welcoming, and we sat in front of a massive window where the snow was coming down and adding to the arctic city scape. It turned out to be one of those unplanned things that turns into a great memory. I love when that happens.

After leaving chocolata, we had to get to the otherside of the city to have a church meeting with two of our friends. It turned out to be a great meeting, with opportunity to pray, worship, reflect, and share our stories. This was a wonderful first meeting. Amanda seems sold on the idea of simple church, and for facilitating a  meeting like this feels like a piece of destiny coming into being. I am excited for what will happen with this.

I am also in the process of putting together a playlist for the cocktail party portion of Amanda and my reception. I have always dreamed of hosting a cocktail party with fancy artistic indie music playing in the background, and I guess now is the chance. While I know some of these artists are not quite fitting the “indie” appellation, inspite of may claims in support of this assessment. Some of them are on major labels, but I still think they will make great party music in the background.

here is a rough sketch of what i have so far:

1.) Delorean – Deli  2.) TV on the radio – crying 3.) Hot Chip – and i was a boy from school 4.) Paul Simon – Graceland 5.) Faunts – Feel Love Thinking Of 6.) The National – Fake Empire 7.) Radiohead – Sit Down, Stand up (etc…) 8.) Yo La Tengo – avalon or someone very similar 9.) The decemberists – The crane wife 3 10.) Paper Route – Enemy Among Us 11.) The Beatles – hey jude 12.) The shins – Split Needles 13.) Iron and wine – Faded from the winter 14.) The national – Guest Room 15.) Elton John – Tiny Dancer 16.) Tv on the radio – DLZ 17.) Deathcab for Cutie – Coney Island 18.) Radiohead – weird fishes/arpeggi 19.) Iron and wine – Upward over the mountain 20.) Paul simon – the boy in the bubble  21.) The postal Service – Recycled Air 22.) Memory Tapes – Stop Talking 23.) MGMT – Electric Feel 24.) Elton John – Rocket Man 25.) Faunts – I think I’ll Start a fire 26.) Radiohead – Go to sleep 27.) Paul Simon – Diamonds on the soles of her shoes 28.) Hot chip – Ready For the floor 29.) The Police – Roxanne 30.) Port O’brien – Fisherman’s Son 31.) Damien Rice – Cannonball 32.) The decemberists – summersong 33.) Beach House – Tokyo Witch

its not final yet, this is just a rough sketch. Hopefully perkins will be delighted with this.

looking outside the window from chocolata

Perkins and my remaining chimay rogue

Fog, new music, and returning across america

its another foggy day in bucharest. seems its clouds, precipitation, or fog. Sadly in january there has already been multiple days of rain. Winter seems off and on. Cold here is just below freezing. Cold growing up was single digits F. It seems 50/50 it is below freezing or above freezing. Doesnt seem like a real winter to me.

My heater is broken, each morning I have to wake up and wipe down my windows, as each night the room cools off to the dew point, and dew forms all over the window. My room had insulation put in it to keep it warmer, but it still cools off to the dew point each night. There has been a history of mold growing in my room as a result. Though not as bad as before, I have been bleaching some corners near the windows here and there, to kill anything i dont want to be breathing.

for those who havent heard, I have lost some students to tutor. In the wake of this, I have obviously had time and space open up for other students. God bless my other student’s mother for finding me 3 new students and 6 more hours of tutoring each week. Two of them are in high school and are preparing for some standardized testing. The other student I haven’t met yet, but apparently he is 9, and doesn’t know much english. I am excited to help them to the best of my ability and see them progress. The two older students seem super nice, and eager to learn. I start with one of the older girls next thursday, along with the 9 year old. The other high school girl i start with on Jan 27.

Sadly, one of the things I miss most about LA is the free, and/or really cheap shows the Fold puts together. I still get there emails and on consistent basis see some amazing bands come through, usually the rest of the world discovers some of them 2 or 3 years down the road when they are going platinum on a major labels (ie. TV on the radio, Cold war kids, silversun pickups, Deathcab for cutie, etc…). Well, in preparation for maximizing my experience in seattle, I have begun researching some small, divey/local-only, indie/underground/local musician venues. In my research i discovered an act called lymbyc systym, playing at a venue called high dive. I then saw in my email the fold booked them. So I gave them a chance. Anyone who is into the electronica/shoegaze you might dig them

On the topic of music, I think 2010 will be a great year, as there looks to be many great records coming out. Notably I am really looking forward to: Yeahsayer, Foals, Hot Chip, The National, Interpol.

I am really looking forward to this year. 2008 was a year full of traveling all over america. This year will be also similar here is what looks to be in the works:

March: Prague Czech Rep. (honeymoon)

June: London UK (visiting friends/looking at music school, and Amanda is checking out work opportunities), Boston/New England (wedding/visiting long-lost friends), Carolinas (picking up things, visiting family, east coast reception

July: North Carolina (visiting friends) , Kentucky (amanda’s school) , Utah (visiting perkins’ friends, getting her car), California (wedding, receptions, visiting friends)

August: California, Oregon, Washington. (seattle-bound) and hopefully I can convince perkins to do some camping on our way to/through the northwest in august. 🙂

new years

2007 to 2008 marked one of the worst new years I can recall. January 2nd I was driving to work listening to “the new year” by death cab for cutie. I particularly was identifying exceptionally well with Ben Gibbards lyrics to this one. Tears of frustration filled my eyes as I came down sepulveda blvd near the getty museum at 8:45am. I was crying out to God for a sense of purpose, for more direction, and for redemption from circumstances at work. On a side note, this was my prayer on my way to work for the previous few months. With the start of a new year, I was really upset that things weren’t different. I think God heard my prayer. 2008 turned out to be one of the best years of my life. It started at the end of January when I was let go from that job at the advertising agency. Bad turned to good, as I fulfilled some dreams in 2008. I visited San Francisco, I hiked through the redwoods, I hiked Yosemite Falls in Yosemite NP, I camped in Santa Cruz, I worked and traveled with a recording artist. I saw the Northwest. And I met my future Spouse. 2008 Closed almost as 2007 closed, with little hope, and not seeing the future that I wanted. I was jobless again, plans were falling through, and I had no idea what was to come.

While 2009, hasnt been as awesome in retrospect as 2008, It still has been awesome. I have lived in Europe, and have been teaching International students English. I am on the road to fulfilling dreams, that I never thought possible up until this year. I am getting married in March, and I couldnt think of a better way to start the new year than with a new life with my beautiful soon-to-be spouse.

I think 2010 will be great. upon my return from Europe, there will hopefully be a perkins and nate, drive-across-America visiting all our long-lost friends, and favorite places. We will most likely finish our tour in Seattle, where we will reside for a period of 9 months or so, while perkins finishes grad school. I am stoked to be in my home country, and in the one city I have not been to in America that feels close to my heart.

This is the first decade turn that I can recall individual things that happened in each year. I feel like I am saying goodbye to those things, it is sad, as I have identified myself by a lot of those events. I think with a new life starting with perkins, I am finding new ways to identify myself. I am stoked for the best times, and the greatest things of this decade to come. I have always been one to look back more than ahead. But better things are in store. Its hard to imagine that things can be better when they seemed so perfect at times. But I am getting married in 2010, and seeing new places and doing new things, and continuing to learn music :).